It's 11.33 p.m. and I should be sleeping right now. My dad always advice me to sleep early during exam times. :)
But sigh.. Here I am.. writing a post on my blog.
So today I've been spending my whole day staring at a piece of paper acknowledging that there are words on it but I couldn't make sense of what it was.
And it has been going on for few weeks actually.. I've been losing focus lately, and I've been quite 'forcing' myself to deal with the rest of the semester.. Alhamdulillah I can still survive eventhough sometimes I just wish I could just collapse and remain unconscious and be detached from the reality.
A lot had been going on lately and this semester was so far the most challenging semester for me.
My emotion had been through a roller coaster ride and if I could accumulate the amount of tears shed by me, maybe cukup 7 tempayan air mata. Hahaha. In addition, I took a total of 21.5 credit hour (8 subjects) which is the most credit hour I've taken throughout my studies.
But it wasn't all bad, I've been distracting myself a lot from thinking about the problems I have and been keeping myself busy with a lot of activities. Also credits given to my awesome classmates and to my lecturers who made class really interesting and inspiring at the same time.
(I am planning to post a post on how awesome my semester was with you guys; written from another perspective, more optimistic and positive) but lemme just post you some pictures showing how happy we are. Lalala~
Truth is, I am really tired and currently feeling quite demotivated. I just want to get through the semester.. yet I still have 6 papers to deal with.
I wanted to score in my exam but whatever I read I couldn't process or digest the information. Which is truly frustrating..
And what is more frustrating is the fact I feel as if my brain doesn't want to think. I got in the exam hall and all I do is write down what I memorized, I didn't even take some time to think what should be written and what should be focused. I tried to focus but my mind was all blank and blurred. I really don't know what to do.. I'm just burnt out.
But Alhamdulillah. I got this from a friend today which made me smile.
It meant a lot to me. I've been handling a project I've been longing to do and Alhamdulillah this semester I had the chance to execute it and thanks to my friends who are willing to become a mentor currently it is a success :)
I just create a schedule je.. Not so hard.. :D
but yeah. I'm doing whatever I can do to help other people. That is the satisfaction I get.. That is my source of motivation for the time being. To keep going..
I may be down this time, but I must make sure others are able to go up. If I don't survive I must make sure other does. I'm so tired this time.. Really am tired...
Chaiyok!! Be the candle that lightens other people's life even if I'm burning myself out! ^_^
16 days more to go!
Yes, thank you Aisha. "No act of kindness is ever wasted"
And I know what my friends are facing are far worst than what I am facing. And I hope they will keep being strong and never stop praying. Same goes to me.. I couldn't bear watching another picture in my timeline. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul.. Be strong..